Guy from Astronomy Class

Hey y’all, how are you doing? How was your Valentine’s Day? Maybe you are not into all of that chocolate and flowers and gift extravaganza. In that case, how was your Presidents’ Day? For my international readers, last week was Presidents’ Day in the US. It is a national holiday, so most people get the day off. One of my friends has the whole week off. She is a teacher and this past week was her district’s mid-winter recess. It is a nice little break to have in the middle of all this cold and snow.

Today, I thought I would share a quick story about a date from a couple of years ago. Back in 2013, I was in college and kinda seeing a classmate. I am going to call this classmate Derek. For those who are new to this blog, I change the names of all the people I mention in my stories. And I say “kinda” because this was during a period of my love life when I was actively avoiding labels.

Derek and I first met in our astronomy class. It was an elective for both of us, just an easy-A, filler class. Except, our professor actually cared about the subject. That was fine by me, I was already interested in astronomy and familiar with most of the material we covered. Derek and I would talk while we waited for the previous class to finish up. It was only when we were leaving our last class before the final that Derek finally gathered up the nerve to ask if I wanted to get some food with him. I said yes.

Now, here is an important bit of the story I really need to mention: neither of us knew each other’s names. Sure, we spent the whole semester getting to know each other. But after a while, it gets kinda awkward to ask the other person what their name is. At least, that was my view of it. Somehow, we managed to avoid mentioning our names altogether. Knowing this, I was intrigued by how the date would go.

We were going to a small, familiar place that was off campus. Normally, I would walk to the restaurant, but being that it was December (it was already dark by the time we finished class), Derek offered to drive there. As we were walking to his car, I quickly messaged my friend to find out what Derek’s name is. A couple of days prior, I was hanging out with my friend in the student center when Derek came up to us. Turns out he and my friend were in the same major, but different years. My friend was taking a class that Derek had taken the previous semester, and he was kind enough to email my friend some old exam samples since finals were coming up. 

So as I was walking, I asked my friend if “the guy from my astronomy class” ever emailed him. Thank goodness my friend replied fairly quickly, and yes, he did email him. The thing about our school emails is that it uses our name. By the time we arrived at the restaurant, I already knew his name. But Derek still had no clue about mine. 

We went through the whole dinner without any awkward silences or breaks. He was a great conversationalist, something I really appreciate in dates. He did throw me a bone though. At one point, he was talking about how he is known as the gregarious one among his friends. So much so, that his friend invited him to a party just so he could do his “Derek-thing” and make everyone comfortable. I laughed because that was a pretty smooth way for him to add his name into the conversation, at least 20 year-old Aemi thought so.

Once dinner was over, he dropped me back at my dorm. It was a weeknight and I needed to start preparing for my finals. But before I got out of his car, Derek asked me for my number, and of course I gave it to him. It was obvious that he still did not know my name because the next question he asked was, “what should I save it as?” 

I thought about being mean. I could have said something snarky like, “oh, my name is fine.” Or something mischievous like, “save it as ‘Girl from Astronomy Class.’” But I could not do it. He was sweet and great company. I enjoyed that we had a semester together and the possibility of more time made me not want to ruin this moment. I replied, “you can put Aemi” (except I gave my real name). 

I wish that I could say we spent a lot of time together, that we grew closer, and that he became an indispensable friend, but that is not how things turned out. We did go out on a few more dates in the spring semester. However, he was done with his classes and pretty soon got a good job and moved away. Last I heard, he is halfway across the country, married, and has a little dog. 

It is funny how we distinctly remember certain things about people. The rest of the conversations we had that night are lost to the sands of time. In my journal, I did not write what else we talked about; I normally do not write specific conversation topics unless they are relevant to the entry. But I did remember how he snuck his name into the story, probably because he assumed I did not know his name. I do not know for certain, I never asked him if he meant to do that. 

Some might feel that it was rude of him to not know my name. But I did not see it that way back then, nor do I see it that way now. This story reminds me that, despite not knowing one of the most basic things, we managed to get to know each other to a level we were comfortable with. A name is just a string of sounds/letters/gestures we use to identify each other. It only has meaning if we give it meaning. For example, “Aemi” by itself has no meaning; it is just something I created. It only means something because I tell you it is my name and because you accept that it is my name. So why should it matter if Derek did not know my name? I do not think it should matter. See you all next time.

- Aemi