Falling

Hi there, y’all! It has been a while, hasn’t it? I know, I keep disappearing, and for that I am sorry. With everything that has been going on, keeping up with these posts became more and more difficult. There was too much on my plate, and I felt overwhelmed. But I am back because I finally feel like I have a reasonable routine. Although, if I am being very honest, I do not know when I might disappear again. So, let me share these stories while I am still able to write them down.

My last story was about a guy I matched with on a South Asian dating app called Dil Mil. I thought things were going about as normal as pandemic dating gets; that is, until I found out the guy was married! If you want to read about that rollercoaster of a story, you should start with Part 1: Sticky Notes on Red Flags. Now, the ironic part is that I started talking to Grant because I was trying to get over another pandemic potential. Milo’s story is not as linear as Grant’s was, nor is it short like many of my other stories. This one spans over the course of ten months. And what a whirlwind those ten months were!

I want to take you back in time, to the beginning months of the pandemic. How naïve we were to think that we were finally heading toward the end because numbers were decreasing. But it was only May of 2020.  

There was a new guy I started talking to. His name was Milo, and yes, he was Malayalee. Like me, he was born and raised here after his parents settled in America. After just a month of chatting, I was impressed by how similar we were. Similar tastes and preferences, similar outlooks on life.

The more things we had in common, the more I wondered if they were genuinely his feelings or if he was just saying things to make me like him. How messed up is that? When I see a guy showing interest in me, my mind immediately goes, “this must be a trick!” I fall for people too easily, and because of that, my mind puts up guards to save my heart.

Milo was easy to talk to. I remember after Ezra’s classes had finished, he needed to pack his stuff and move out. Ezra left many things behind when he decided to come home at the last minute in April. So we rented a Subaru and drove six hours to his college to collect the leftover items. It was the first night in months that I was not with my parents. Milo and I spent four and a half hours talking on the phone throughout the night! I do not even talk to my close friends for that long on the phone! He asked me a ton of questions and he shared stories about himself. What can I say, except that I was falling for the guy?

It is interesting to think about the platforms that became popular because the pandemic flipped over our lives. Thanks to Netflix Party, we were able to watch movies and shows together almost every night. Now here is another commonality, but I want to know how many of you guys know what I am talking about. Milo also used Kast. If you are familiar with the platform, first, leave a comment below, and second, you would know that they will not let us share Netflix anymore. I miss rabb.it, what a bummer!

In mid-June, Milo asked me the inevitable question, “Are we compatible?” I will not lie, I fell back into old habits and gave a typical elusive, but positive, answer. I said, “My spidey senses aren’t screaming ‘run away!’ I think that is a good sign.” This was a reference to the fact he -loves- Spiderman.

I wanted this to work out. We seemed like we were on similar pages. But I was in a state of limbo during those first few months. My new job was still TBD. I could not move out without this job. I could not plan dates with Milo without moving out. Regardless, I knew that if this did not work out, it would not be the end of the world.

This feels like a good place to take a pause, so I will leave things here for the time being. This story is not over, so make sure you come back to find out what happens next. Until next time.

- Aemi