Captain Oblivious

May 16, 2020

Hey y’all, how are you doing? I hope the weather is nice, and you are keeping yourself entertained. You know, there are thirty-eight posts prior to this. So if you are ever in need of something to do, you have plenty of reading material available! And if you like a particular story or know someone who would enjoy them, feel free to share. I started this blog because I thought it was ridiculous how far people were going to make sure I got married. In a way it is endearing, but that does not make it any less strange. So I hope you will join in my adventures, and feel free to share your stories as well!

Life is still quiet here and I am still not able to leave the house. I joke around and say I feel like Rapunzel, trapped in my house with just my passion projects to keep me entertained. I hope you do not take this the wrong way, I am grateful for this downtime, Lord knows I suffer from burnout as if it were my life’s work. However, this was not how I imagined 2020 was going to turn out. But is it not the case that life gives you what you need and not necessarily what you want? It does not matter what I had planned for this year, this is the year that I got. 

That being said, today I want to share with you a short story from my college days. We were a relatively small institution with about 10,000 students, compared to other nearby universities with 50,000+ students. By the time I was a senior, I was very comfortable with my university. I was by no means popular, but I could go to the student center and find someone to talk to until I had to go to class. And I had a couple of campus jobs, so people recognized me. It also did not hurt that my taste in make-up was eccentric, blue lipstick, purple eyeshadow, and rainbow colored nails. So enough people knew me. 

One evening, I found myself in the student center chatting with one of the student managers. It has been five years, so I forget the exact reason why I was there.  Considering it was late in the evening, I guess I came for food or stayed after a meeting. Whatever the case, it was just the two of us at the info desk and a couple of people sitting on the couches working on their laptops. 

Now, you might be thinking this is either the beginning of a rom-com movie or something really bad is going to happen. Well, it was neither. And nothing did happen because I was such an oblivious fool. So this manager, let us call him Lucky (Main Hoon Na reference), was someone I knew since freshman year. He dated my roommate’s best friend. At some point during the four years, things did not work out between them and they broke up. Their romance was none of my concern, and I was friendly, so I would say hi when I saw him around campus. 

After a while, the person who was working in the game room came to clock out. But seeing that Lucky and I were chilling and talking, they stayed a little bit longer. We all grabbed chairs inside the info desk and contemplated our last year, our futures, and life. 

As we jumped from topic to topic, Lucky brought up social media and asked about the different platforms I was on. More than once, he talked about snapchat. And one of those times, he asked me if I had snapchat and I responded with just “yes” and nothing else. I did not think too much of it, but that is where I made my mistake. Later, as I was walking back to my dorm room, and rethinking the conversations, I realized Lucky was beating around the bush to try and add me on snapchat. *Facepalm* 

I would like to think I am not as oblivious now as I was back then, but I will trip over cues every now and again. But back at that moment, I was totally clueless. The thing with me is that I accept things at their face value too often. And while it may seem counter-intuitive, it is precisely because I overanalyze things. My mind tries to find second and third meanings in people’s words and actions. Sure, they said this one thing, but maybe they meant this other thing. While I cannot stop myself from falling down this rabbit hole, I know most people do not mean the things I think they mean. So as a rule of thumb, I respond to comments and actions at face-value. That means, if someone says something with an innuendo or a double entendre, I will ignore it until they say otherwise.

I am not a mind reader, and I will not assume what someone means to tell me. I have played that game before and it has rarely worked out for either of us. These days, I tell the other person early on they need to be straightforward with me. Otherwise, I am going to play dumb and act like I do not know what they are referring to. 

But I must add that this story with Lucky was not a tongue-in-cheek response. I genuinely did not know what his intentions were. And I still do not, I never brought it up with him after that conversation. Had Lucky asked, “can I have your snapchat” or some variation of that, then of course I would have shared it. Maybe things would have been different, who knows?

That is it for this week. As a reminder, please like and share these stores, and leave a comment if you are so inclined. See y’all next week. 

- Aemi