Another Thing in Common

February 29, 2020

Hey y’all, welcome back! I do not know what is going on with the world right now. It seems like we are heading into a frenzy of unknowns. This coronavirus is getting worse and worse each day, governments are restricting travel. Anyone caught sneezing or coughing is getting death stares. The world is turning into a scary place and I hope y’all stay safe out there.

You know that saying “when it rains, it pours”? Well, I feel like this virus is the pouring part; something to add onto all the chaos that was going on in my life. I already talked about the chaos brought on by Kilian and Lucas. (If you are new to this blog or do not know what I am referring to, I highly recommend you read the last two entries.) Today, I want to write about the chaos going on with Kyle. 

In my previous post about Kyle, I mentioned that we were trying to plan a second date. It was supposed to be during the first week of February and we were going to go to the library near my work. Now, y’all are probably wondering what kind of lame date is that! Well, I will have you know, that library is kinda famous. It is definitely a tourist location and people have gotten married there; now, I love libraries, but not that much. Kyle said that he has not been there yet and I am a sucker for books, so it was a perfect option for a second date.

But I had to cancel due to some unfortunate circumstances; I was laid off from work. Without a job as part of my cover story, I had no reason to go to his state. I mean, otherwise I would have to tell my parents about Kyle, and I am just not that serious about him to take that step. I told him what happened and he was understanding. Also, without a job, I have bigger things to worry about than canceled dates. I really was hoping 2020 would be my year to shine, but so far, it has been pretty sucky.

I was on the job hunt again, but it was nice to distract myself and talk to Kyle. After some strategic planning, we decided to try for another date towards the end of the month. I would have to come up with a half-truth so I could go visit him. The thing is, I have to be very cautious when I use this option because it requires me to expend a lot of energy. Lying is like telling a story, you have to create a world for that story to exist. You need to come up with specific details. You need to remember the flow of the story you are telling. The lie needs to be believable. All of this comes naturally to me and my anxious, overthinking personality keeps track of what I am saying to whom. But it is draining! Here is a free tip for those who, like me, have to live a double life: the best lies are the truth. Keep as much of the story as true as possible. Not only is it easier to remember, it is easier to sell as well. 

Fast forward to this week. On Tuesday evening, I noticed that Kyle had been oddly quiet. The last couple of weeks, we had not been talking as much as we used to. That may have had more to do with me than with him. I tried to stay off my phone during the day; social media can be a rabbit hole, and I am trying to put my energy into finding a new job. But Tuesday was different. He sent me one message, and that was in the morning. I sent him one in the evening and that was when I realized he was rather quiet. 

I did not think too much of it, (not true, I was completely nagged by it). He was probably busy at work or something came up, or maybe he finds me boring and is ghosting me or maybe he died. I knew there was a reasonable explanation for it, I just needed to be patient and wait for it. 

Wednesday morning came and I still had not heard anything from him. I sent a picture of bunnies, because whose day is not brightened up by cute animals? But still nothing. At this point, I wondered if our date, which we planned for Friday (yesterday), was going to happen or not. It was almost noon by the time he finally messaged me again. He told me what happened and why he was quiet all of the previous day. Turns out it was another thing we had in common: he was also let go from his work. 

Oh man, I empathize with him. I have been on that rollercoaster of emotions for the past three weeks at that point. The shock, the anger, the sadness, the depression, the freedom, the worry, I understood all of these things. But there was an extra dimension that I did not have to deal with that Kyle did.

I mentioned that we live in two different states. What I did not mention is that Kyle is a transplant. He is actually Canadian, and he is here in the US on a work visa. Now, I knew about this very early on in our conversations. It was not an issue for me; we had similar cultural experiences growing up. Although, he did mention he has never watched SpongeBob, which makes me wonder if that is a Kyle thing or a Canada thing? Normally, I would not mention an identifier like this, but this is a key part to the story. Since he was no longer employed, he would need another company to sponsor his visa for him to stay here. 

So yea, things are a bit up in the air right now. We did meet up yesterday, after all it was probably the last time we would see each other in person for a while. I did try to gauge if he was interested in seeing where things would go. I will be honest, I do not have the energy to play games with someone who has no interest in a potential future. Previously, we both had said we were not looking for a relationship right now, but if things work out, that is a different story. I do not want to keep a lamp lit for a guy who does not see the value in me (Devdas reference). He did not outright say “no,” nor did he say “yes.” So for now, I guess we will keep talking and see how things turn out. 

The more I think about the last two months, the more I think my prophecy will come true. What is this prophecy? Come back next week and I will tell you all about it.

- Aemi